Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
