Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize