she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
