Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
