The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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