My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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