If i come over, it means nothing
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
