so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
