I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
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a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
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I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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