lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
