I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize