alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
