White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
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