I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
