some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
True strength comes from lack of pants
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I need to align my fucking chakras
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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