Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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