Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize