Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
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I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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