So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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