oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
