Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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