Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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