So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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