Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
