He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
