I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
