Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
