No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize