We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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