You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
