I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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