I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
