we're chasing vodka with high fives
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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