Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
