I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
