i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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