'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Welp...herpes.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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