ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
