So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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