Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
