im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
