that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize