Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize