Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
