the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
