is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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