smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I have tasted many bathrooms
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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