Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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