I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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