You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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