ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
kristin has been a bad kristin
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
