its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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