call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
