Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
