He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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