Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
