I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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