Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
