when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
