your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
