guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
All the doctor said was why
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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