I feel great
I just peed on a car
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
