ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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